I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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