Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Non-Jews are for practice
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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