I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
