i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
