If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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