Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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