Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
