Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i've created a new STD.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
