Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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