Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My penis needs a shock collar
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
