Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
