please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
