so explain again why im purple
no
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
