Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
