either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
