i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
