Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Shame - the story of my life.
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