i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you never un-have a 4some
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
