"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
