i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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