two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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