he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
