watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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