Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize