I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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