sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
