well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
