Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize