You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
