he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize