Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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