Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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