i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
