I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
