She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
