Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
