You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
