i barfeds in our rink
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
