Having a random hookup so left but love u
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
