I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
