it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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