yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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