chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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