My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
