I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
