didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
