Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize