There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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