I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize