took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
