hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
