i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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