I heard we made out
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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