needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
