I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
