Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
