Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
