Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
