Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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