You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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