I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
