hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
