Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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