Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my sisters under your porch take her home
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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